First Installment

I've decided to start recording my thoughts and theories down in hopes that I'll be able to someday weave them together in a poor excuse for a literary work. Plus, if that never happens, I'll at least have my thoughts.

So here's the first installment:

Mediations about Affirmations and Emotions or "What came first: the misery or the situation?"

People like their environment to match their emotions. If you really think about it you can see how this can be the case.

• We see that depressed people frequently if not a majority of the time will remove themselves from social situations and by doing so making their surroundings more depressing to match their mood.
• We see that people who are angry yell, scream, and engage others in arguments / fights which makes their environment more and more filled with anger.
  
• Finally, we see that people who have nothing but chaos in their head will want their environments to match. I used to work with this guy named Patrick who would, it would seem, purposely start trouble with the staff. He would talk to someone, gain their trust and learned their feelings positive or negative and then go and share them with another member of the staff. Everyone on staff began to realize that he did this and has done it to everyone he's ever met. Not only that but after talking to Patrick, he told me that he changes friends (has brand new friends) every six months or so. Why would someone do that to themselves? Why would they purposely cause their environment to be so chaotic around them? Most people want the world to give them a break when they're feeling stressed. But not Patrick, he throws his world into chaos even when his world would otherwise seem calm.
• I think the reason Patrick does this and why many of us do this, is because we as humans are constantly looking for affirmation. It goes with out saying that we are "feeling creatures". We thrive off our emotions, they make up a large part of why we are different from any other animal in this world. And part of being a "feeling creature" means that we need to know that what we feel inside is correct. So one way we find out if what we are feeling is correct, is to match our environment. "I'm feeling miserable, but why? Oh well my life is miserable?" Couldn't it really be that you want your situation to match how you're feeling, because you can't explain it and God forbid we don't have an explanation for everything always.

The point of being alive is to figure out what it means to be alive. Many of us find this answer in our emotions. Back and forth we go between "feeling alive and feeling like dying". Could it really be that we must fetter to and fro just to search for meaning.

I think the true point of being alive is figure out what it means to be alive, but the way to do this is to find a median. Find a balance. Search for peace with your soul. When you obtain this the rest of your life follows suit or so I gather.